I have been asked many times why I was giving away so many paintings. I think today is the time for me to explain why.
A STORY OF LOVE.
What a beautiful day it was, that Sunday February 3rd 2008!
The air was crisp and joyful. All seemed so peaceful and harmonious!
It was Super Bowl Sunday, but most of all, it was this magic day when the family had gathered to build a Tree House. Papa, maman, Josephine, Remington and a dear friend were singing their joy in the sun.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
Josephine Athena Kail died.
She drowned in the pool. She was just 2 and a half years old.
In a few minutes our world fell apart.
My precious grandchild was gone.
Should I describe the pain? There are no words accurate enough to hint at the destructive wave that invaded my body, my soul, my spirit, and my heart. I heard people telling me I had to be strong, but I was unable to comprehend what they meant. For what?
As the minutes, the hours, the days, the months went by, I watched my daughter and her husband raise their heads like heroes. All the while I felt myself sinking into a black and empty hole. A constant and heavy weight invaded my body and my eyes could only see in shades of dark grey. Death was in me at all times. Guilt and anger showed up to finish the destructive work. I rejected everything....my God, my religion, and the loving attentions of my friends, family, and my boyfriend. I created an empty hole for Josephine and me.
My love for my daughter was my only reason to stay alive, I mean, for my body to live. For my heart and who I thought I was, had died....
I suppose that somehow, my Source took pity upon me, because little by little, I started to see again. I immersed myself in books and any materials that would raise my spiritual awareness. Anything that could give me a reason to, perhaps, not understand, but accept.
”Mamouska, Josephine is not dead, she is invisible” Remington would say. He was right.
I changed the way I looked at life and life changed. My studio became my sanctuary. Layers of paint were transformed into layers of love. Josephine was not dead, she was invisible.
She was...she IS with me, smiling, dancing, painting.
I miss her smell. I miss kissing her belly and her neck. I miss her smile, her cascading laugh, her appetite for life, music, dance and chocolate.
I miss her personality, her excesses, her dramatic approach to life. I even miss the superior way she looked at me when she was with her parents, for when she was with them, nobody else existed. As she looked at me and said, “me not ta petite Cherie, me, Josephine."
Yes, I missed her physically, but I also felt a spiritual connection. An unconditional love for my Source and the universe invaded me. I started to feel connected with all of humanity and I realized that the same energy that was going through Josephine, and me, was also going through all of us. It was time for me to share my love for her, with humanity...to do something in her honor. I searched for an organization where I could share my gift of love and tenderness…
And then I realized that my patrons always commented on my work, as it gave them a happy, peaceful and energetic feeling!
With a smile and an incredible feeling of joy, I decided to give away that which was only a gift to me: my paintings, my work, and my talents.
The Sebastian Ferrero Foundation has graciously accepted to help me to do this. I feel so overwhelmed by their kindness towards me, and so fortunate that they volunteered to help me deliver my message of love. This will help me to honor Josephine’s memory, to heal myself and most of all, to perhaps, infuse in others the idea that love is the only winner in this world...in this life.